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A man of his words , L ive for himself , V icious in choice of words, I n love with Taeyeon, N ever thinks he is wrong. That's all you need to know :] wishlist
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Pity
968402615827230144 date: Wednesday, April 4, 2012 time: 2:06:00 AM comments: 0
I find myself wallowing in self-pity all the time.
Complaining about this , about that. Everything doesn't seem to go the way I wanted all the time. Yet, I'm not doing anything to stop all this things from becoming like this. It's like wanting it to happen it my way magically, a miracle. Yes, a miracle is what I need. But does miracle even exist ? I doubt so. Only people that works hard deserve how they want it be. But when being hard working doesn't help as well, Why work so hard ? Realistic views or pessimistic view ? So much questions, so much doubts. I really want to be in control. I want to be the central of power. I want to take charge of everything. But I dun want the responsibility. I'm afraid of making mistakes, afraid of making failures, afraid of being complained, afraid of being scolded, afraid of being a nuisance, sometimes, I'm even afraid of being myself. I can't enjoy myself as much as I do. I dun want to be a burden to my friends. That's why none of the things are revealed to them. Yet, I'm blogging this. Which lets my friends know what a burden I am. It makes them feels bad, make them show artificial(?) concern towards me. My trust in people is getting lower and lower. The people I used to trust, The people I used to be ally with, Have all become people I doubt, People I reveal 80% of the nonsense, Keeping the true 20% . I wonder what I'm doing sometimes. I really wonder if I'm trying to gain sympathy or attention. Being judged is really a bad thing. This society is becoming a bad place to stay. I really wanna escape. But this is a money world, without money, you're a total beggar. Nothing else. It's either you're a rich person , average guy or a beggar. My usage of words aren't profound. I'm about to fall towards the beggar district soon. That's why I'm working as I'm studying. I totally hate asking for money. I don't wanna be like my brother. Asking for money everytime. Respect, it's a big word. When he does things that makes people disrespect him, Why should I respect him? Why ? I'm getting angry for no reason right now. Seriously. As you grow older, you keep more things to yourself. Not because you can't confine them to anyone, but because you'll just become a nuisance to them. |
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contact me
email: alvinism@live.com.sg
msn: alvinism@live.com.sg before you tag
I'd like to make a handful of things clear to all taggers.
■ Strictly no anonymous taggers allowed. (I will not entertain anonymous tags no matter how obnoxious.) ■ Vulgarism of all forms are prohibited.
With that said, you may commence with your talkbox
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